Every family has a variety of personality types that makes each member special and the family flow together. There’s usually the responsible one, the smart one, the fun one, etc. I happen to be the black sheep.
Being the oldest (and most obnoxious) child I’ve taken to paving my own path. I know my family loves me more than words, how could they not? They are always proud of all my accomplishments and the strongest support system I have. Equally, they are also easily embarrassed by my daily hot mess.
We travel to Upper Michigan for almost every holiday and many weekends to be with our extended family. I usually drag myself out of bed when everyone else is packing up the car. Wearing the same outfit I slept in I take my place in the back. It’s an unwritten rule that if I don’t shower I’m forced to the back seat. This I’m fine with, I prefer my legs up on the seat so my feet can dangle next to Nick’s face or propped up on the ceiling of the car. They like when I sleep, I like when I sing.
We pull out of the driveway and I panic, my sunglasses are still in my car. My mom and brother collectively groan. I ask if they’d rather that I complain the entire four hour ride about how sunny it is. We go back for my glasses. There’s too many buckles in my shoes to fully put them on so I slowly shuffle/slide my way to fetch the glasses.
I usually insist on going out of our way to stop for Starbucks, they always make me wait in the car. I also like to stop for ice cream along the way.
Today I caused a scene about Pringles. I needed them. Who doesn’t crave Pringles at noon on Sunday? This is how it went:
After everyone for back in the car from a quick pit stop I decided I needed Pringles. I had no cash and no shoes on. While I was trying to buckle all 4 buckles on my trendy gladiators my mom was fishing out cash and telling us we were getting cut off from all funds. My brother was telling me I’m pregnant because only pregnant women have salty/sweet cravings like I do. False, I chase the salty/sweet combo everyday in my life. When I go into the gas station, looking a mess, I cannot find any Pringles. Most people would just settle for something else. Not me, I’m on a mission. I ask the gas station attendant if he knows where the Pringles are. There is only 1 small can of barbeque flavor. I really want regular. Decision time. I made a rational choice, buy both the Pringles and the Lay’s original flavored stackers. A girl likes options. My family is not impressed with my buffet of chips. Im not impressed with the Lay’s Stackers. Not long after we leave I have to pee. We have a conversation of how I need to train my body to pee when I have the opportunity. It’s weird.
We’re listening to Miley Cyrus. I’m singing.
Once we get into town our first stop is my grandma’s house. What is the first thing she says to me? “You look drunk.” Can’t a girl just be tired?
I’ve come to accept the reality that I am the black sheep. At least I clean up well.
If you think this is just a one time thing after a weekend of partying at back to back weddings you are mistaken. I am the token hot mess of the family. Just ask anyone of them, they’d vouch for that in a heartbeat.